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the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.

Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

this woukd have made me so happy

The window is open
So’s that door
I didn’t know they did that anymore
Who knew we owned 8000 salad plates?
For years I have roamed these empty halls
Why have a ballroom with no balls?
Finally, they’re opening up the gates
There’ll be real, actual people
It’ll be totally strange
But wow am I so ready for this change

For the first time in forever
There’ll be music, there’ll be light
For the first time in forever
I’ll be dancing through the night
Don’t know if I’m elated or gassy
But I’m somewhere in that zone
‘Cause for the first time in forever
I won’t be alone

Tonight, imagine me gown and all
Fetchingly draped against the wall
The picture of sophisticated grace
I suddenly see him standing there
A beautiful stranger tall and fair
I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face
But then we laugh and talk all evening
Which is totally bizarre
Nothing like the life I’ve led so far

For the first time in forever
There’ll be magic, there’ll be fun
For the first time in forever
I could be noticed by someone
And I know it is totally crazy
To dream I’d find romance
But for the first time in forever
At least I’ve got a change

Don’t let them in
Don’t let them see
Be the good girl
You always have to be
Conceal
Don’t feel
Put on a show
Make one wrong move
And everyone will know
But it’s only for today

It’s only for today

It’s agony to wait

It’s agony to wait

Tell the guards to open up the gate

The gate!
For the first time in forever

Don’t let them in
Don’t let them see

I’m getting what I’m dreaming of

Be the good girl
You always have to be

A chance to leave my sister’s world
A chance to find true love

Conceal
Conceal, don’t feel
Don’t let them know

I know it all ends tomorrow
So it has to be today
‘cause for the first time in forever
For the first time in forever
Nothing’s in my way!

For the First Time In Forever (From Disney’s Frozen)
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

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